A New Love

I haven't written for awhile and that reason is: a woman – Jen. She is incredible and I thank the Goddess Freya for her. Our first date was camping and I couldn't have possibly asked for more. I spent 9 straight hours talking to her before I even kissed her (this is my way), and she is madly deeply into me, as I am her.

She is 21 days older than me and a near mirror of myself. She is crazy (in a good kind of way), highly sexual (and very good at it) – the best ever (and I didn't think that could be topped), highly intelligent, an awesome cook (specifically on a campfire), crazy about the natural (she even likes camping nude), into mythology (specifically Celtic and Norse/Germanic), loves fantasy novels, and is cool with me as me all the way from the skin to the bone and spirit. Mere words cannot describe how incredibly perfect she is!

The Goddess Freya shines down upon us (in more ways than one) and there are so many confirmations it is bizarre. Neither of us dare not say it at this time (we are too old and too wise to say such after a mere 27 days), but we are falling in love.

I wonder where she has been my whole life, but I know it was not meant for then, but for now.

We work together and we work great together – we know this. If that is not a firm foundation, then there is none (in my mind). I love this woman, and I did not think I would ever love again...

We just spent an entire week together camping (without pants) and it was the greatest and most fulfilling week of my life. I did not think this woman existed! And I can tell – she is not fake. Words cannot describe the happiness she brings, and I am content just knowing I have her NOW. For the first time in so long (too long) I think of nothing but her.

I am overjoyed with her in my life. I thank the Goddess for her, and for the first time in a long time I can say again, “I never want to die” - not as in “me”, but as in “us”. I feel complete. I don't know what to say – I am exceedingly happy, and I thank the Goddess for her.

Thank you Goddess for giving me Jennelle. Thank you so much! Even my daughter's face shines upon us just as the Sun's rays shined upon her beautiful body dripping dry and the Moon shined upon us every night we made love.

Words cannot describe my happiness – I am healed.

Peace.

Alraune

Finishing the Kim Thing

Yes, it is true - that certain "groovy" woman was a big part of my life, and I am no longer very fond of her.  It is not that she is a bad woman or things bad need to be spoken of her.  She is a woman who is trying - she should be left alone to do such.  She may think whatever she wishes about me (that is her right and perogative), but I also reserve the right to express my feelings about our relationship and how it had its effect upon me.

First, for all you men or women, she is a great lay - I mean that.  Go for it if you can, because it is nice.  It is not an opportunity you should pass up in this life if you have nothing to lose over it.  She will treat you nice, be very kind to you, do things you never thought another would do, and generally help you to be happy and at least momentarily - fulfilled - she is a blessing of the goddess.  Go for her if you have her - "trust me" you ALL have a chance.  She'll never know what the hell she wants because she refuses to ponder it - she really does.  She is AFRAID of somethings so much and few can help her fears of reality.

Go for it.  Love her and try to make her happy.  She needs you!  She needs you all because she is that scared!

But enough of her.  She was great and I will always love her, but we are done.  I mean done.  I might screw her (and of course hang out with her) to comfort her, but it would take a miracle to love her again.  Frankly I think it would take a miracle for anyone to love her because she is so scared of so many things she could never commit to love in that way.  If "real" love is even what she ever wants...

After so many years, it became more about what I knew she needed than me - that chick needs someone to relieve her FEAR.  If anyone can, please do so.

I cannot help her.  Can you believe that?  I know I cannot.  I hope you are tough and intelligent - have fun.  But don't step on her or I will throttle you.  Do not hurt Emily either or I will be forced to do the same - I respect her and her daugher.  Can I help giving a damn?

Anyway...  Have fun you!  Go with it and get involved.  Treat her nice, because I am done.  It takes time getting over a "crutch" you built, but I figured it out - you should be different.  Bless you all.  This is part of my freedom and part of what makes me the great guy I am and will become.

Beautiful, thank you for making me great and also for hurting me as deeply as you did - you did a great thing.  Goodbye.  I choose to be FREE and you are the bottom of the totem pole on that, but thanks for giving me the courage.  You said, "go ahead and just do it", and they were the greatest words you ever gave me.  I wish you could only know how much those words made me who I am destined to be, and how much they changed my life.  Goddess bless you - you have no clue.

I have so much potential, and you saw it - I just needed to hear it and maybe FACE it.  You aren't evil, you are merely a decent woman "trying" - Goddess bless you from now on.

In the Name of Freya,

Alraune