Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I Deserve Happiness

The other day Jen and I were talking about a campfire (our therapy sessions) and she said something that rang true with me. She said that I am afraid to "hope." She named it! She hit the disease I placed upon myself and all of my luck right on the head!

Once upon a time something happened that made me afraid to hope as I used to, and ever since my luck has been bad. No one cursed me, I hindered myself. I am a "hoper," but something went horribly wrong to distort my gift for hope.

That is why sometimes things go right and sometimes things go wrong that I hope for: I am psychologically making them and hindering them. I am cursing myself, for after all, a curse has no power if you do not make it so yourself!

I have the power of hope and it can both make and break. That one simple statement said so much and ran straight through me. She is so right! I love her so much. Why could no one else tell me this? Why could no one else tell me exactly what I needed to hear? Perhaps it is because she is my hope? Perhaps because I needed her to give me my hope back after I just had a little – a small flower of hope?

Now, certainly life can throw you curveballs, but it cannot break your hope unless you allow it too, and you never quit unless you give-up. I have ben giving up, and I never knew it, for it is totally against my will and my being, and SHE saw it.

She sees my strength. Jen sees how firm I am and all of the strength and energy that radiates through me and she does not wish to devour it, but wishes to make it larger. She is a true love and I deserve her! Damn it! I deserve all of her! I deserve every ounce of this beautiful spirit! I deserve her and I have her, and she deserves me in all I am.

Jen is not too good to be true, she is perfect. Jen is everything I always wanted and everything I could never express that I wanted. True love does exist and I will not be hurt by loving. It is okay to love and okay to hope. Even if she left me tomorrow, she is everything I deserve HERE and NOW. I need her and I love her, and I have hope for her, and I always did.

It is okay. It is okay. It is okay to hope. It is okay to have big dreams and to chase them. It is okay to dare to live and dare to love. It is okay.

"Life sometimes sucks, but it is going to be alright."

You can have the wildest and craziest dreams and "hope" does happen. Life hits you in the face and says, "I am unreal, but I am here."

Jen is something else, and she is living hope. She is my hope and I am her perpetual energy that cannot be contained. I am that energy. I am that something that moves her and propels her along, for some unknown reason. We are hope! God/dess I don't really know what I am saying, but I see it.

All I know is she is right, I became afraid to hope, and it needs to stop! I deseve Jen, she deserves me, and we deserve true and total hapiness – this I know.

Peace,


Alraune

Monday, June 2, 2014

25 Famous Bisexual People

Sometimes one can feel more comfortable being their self if they are sure they are not alone in how they feel, act, and behave. I am bisexual, as are many individuals in this world, but it can often seem to be a lonely or confusing state – an inbetween state even. Here is a list of fifty bisexual people (12 men and 13 women) to make you more comfortable, as I am, in your sexuality and sexual identity:

  1. Hans Christian Andersen (4/2/1805-8/4/1875) – writer
  2. Billie Joe Armstrong (born 2/17/1972) – singer, Green Day
  3. Drew Barrymore (born 2/22/1975) – actress
  4. David Bowie (born 1/8/1947) – musician
  5. Marlon Brando (4/3/1924-7/1/2004) – actor
  6. William S. Burroughs (2/5/1914-8/2/1997) – writer
  7. Margaret Cho (born 12/5/1968) – American Comedian
  8. Joan Crawford (3/23/1904-5/10/1977) -actress
  9. Aleister Crowley (10/12/1875-12/1/1947) – famous occultist
  10. Sammy Davis, Jr. (12/8/1925-5/16/1990) – entertainer
  11. James Dean (2/8/1931-9/30/1955) – American actor
  12. Fergie (Stacy Ann Ferguson) (born 3/27/1975) – singer, Black-eyed Peas
  13. Megan Fox (born 5/16/1986) – American actress
  14. Lady Gaga (born 3/28/1986) – singer
  15. Nathaniel Hawthorne (7/4/1804-5/19/1864) – writer
  16. Katharine Hepburn (5/12/1907-6/29/2003) – American actress
  17. Angelina Jolie (born 6/4/1975) – American actress
  18. Janis Joplin (1/19/1943-10/4/1970) – singer, Big Brother and the Holding Company
  19. Alfred Kinsey (6/23/1894-8/25/1956) – biologist and sexologist
  20. Calvin Klein (born11/19/1942) – fashion designer
  21. Lindsay Lohan (7/2/1986) – American actress
  22. Freddie Mercury (9/5/1946-11/24/1991) – singer, Queen
  23. Nicki Minaj (12/8/1983) – singer
  24. P!nk (born 9/8/1979) – singer
  25. Anna Nichole Smith (born 11/281967-2/8/2007) – actress

Being "bi" does not mean you are secretly homosexual or that you are somehow unable to choose your sexuality and sexual preference. It simply means that you prefer the company and companionship of both genders and that you are sexually attracted to both men and women. Most bisexuals prefer one gender more often than the other, but bisexuals such as myself, may also prefer both genders equally. How much one prefers one gender over the other may change over the course of the individual's lifetime, but that does not mean the individual is confused or in some sort of denial – it merely means that people change. Many bisexuals are in a constant state of flux, while others, such as myself, remain largely unchanged in their preferences.

For more information on bisexuality I suggest that you visit the Bisexual Center or go to bisexual.org, or you may find support through the LGBT.

Blessings,


Alraune

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Feeling Free


The Feeling of Freedom

There are certain things in this life which make me feel free. I guess one could say that living is what makes me feel free; after all, isn't freedom really a feeling or a state of mind? But sometimes I think simply saying that I am "living" or "alive" is oversimplified, and I want to list things even though such a list can be as equally undescriptive.

I suppose I am just too informed about what is going on around me and in me, and I get it – I see the control. So it is a constant struggle for me, feeling free. I can't let it go, I see too much. I am grown and evolved; I am aware and alive; I am alert and aroused; and I am active and feeling.

So at risk of being undescriptive and misleading in exactly what I mean, I present a sort of list. This list should be understood in conjunction with it's equally oversimplified summary of "I am alive." None of it is the sum total of what I am trying to communicate, but it all gets the reader a little closer to what it is that I believe constitutes "feeling free."

I feel free when I can be myself unrestricted and unpressured by outside influences, including those outside influences which have been programmed into me as who I should be or how I should act. I feel free when I rebel against those influences, not for the sake of rebellion, but because I am consciously aware that my rebellion is truly who I wish to be or what I wish to do. I feel free when I have no guilt brought about by sinning against myself; that is, my true self, not who I have been programmed to be or how I have been programmed to act. In other words, I feel free when I am acting as a spirit with freewill and not some biochemical robot who has been programmed with a bunch of IF, THEN, and GOTO commands.

I feel free when I take the time to question everything: every feeling, every worry, every desire, and every hinderance. I feel free when I know myself: physically, psychologically, and spiritually. I feel free when I know my environment: where I belong, my orientation and direction, my resources, and my physical world. I feel free when I know my society: what society is, how society works, what the purpose of society is, and what parts of me are actually society. I feel free when I know I am not a tool for society, but society is the tool is was meant to be for me and everyone else who chose to be a member (if choosing membership in our modern society is even possible).

I feel free when I am outdoors – that is my physical environment! I feel free when I am in the analytical mind and in my spirit. I feel free when I can find and make my own food and medicine, and provide my own necessities of life. I feel free when I am listening to music or making my own. I feel free when I can smoke whatever or drink whatever or ingest whatever, as I wish too, when I wish too, and without fear of reprisal. I feel free when I can fully express my sexuality. I feel free when I can fully express my emotions. I feel free when I can take full control over my own consciousness and expand it in whatever manner or way I choose!

I feel free when I am naked, not just physically, but on every level and in every way. I feel free when I feel innocent (without guilt). I feel free when those around me feel as I do and they see and accept who I am, what makes me myself, and what it is that makes me feel free. I feel free when I am only concerned with what really and truly matters in my life and all the unnecessary B.S. is removed from my concern so as to eliminate unnecessary stress and anxiety.

I feel free knowing how society controls each and everyone of us. I feel free knowing that we are controlled through the creation of unnecessary stress and anxiety in order to steal energy and generate a passive, apathetic, or docile state. I feel free knowing that we are controlled through the creation of false guilt, false self-awareness, and a false sense of esteem. I feel free knowing that life is not what we are programmed and lead to believe, but it is so much simpler and so much more exciting. I feel free knowing that it is not about society, but society is about "us"!

I believe it was Janis Joplin who said, "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." I've often thought about that lyric, and I never quite believed it extended much past talk of love, relationships, and matters of the heart, but I can see where it applies to what I am trying to say, if for nothing, then as the beginnings of understanding what it is that feeling free truly is.

Freedom cannot be bottled-up and taken away. Freedom cannot be imprisoned. Feeling free can be bottled-up, taken away, and imprisoned, but freedom is our natural state and natural right. You can't take freedom, but you can take the feeling, and if you take the feeling, then there is no perception of it except what your captor provides you. Freedom is perceived and known through feeling. Perhaps that is why the philosopher Christian de Quincey intrigues me so much? He, like other philosophers, insists that "feeling" is just as relevant a form of knowing as any other perception; indeed, it may be the most important.

Freedom is one of those states of existence that means nothing without feeling it. We are not free because of a right or a piece of paper (our Constitution), or because of a flag, or even because someone died in some war over natural resources or money or ideologies. We are free when we feel free, and we feel free when we think and do as ourselves.

So, in closing, I would say if you want to be free and you want to feel free, find yourself, know yourself, and then be yourself. Damn everything that makes you not be yourself! Freedom is not money, or a job, or a privilege, or something on a piece of paper, or anything which can be controlled or taken. Freedom is a state of mind. Feeling free is merely living and perceiving that very state of mind!

Peace & Happiness,

Alraune

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Sexual Assault, Society, and Anarchy

One of the more common arguments against anarchism or any form of less or smaller governmental power and control is the irrational declaration that more crimes will be committed and the weak and innocent will not be protected. On the contrary, it is my feeling that the weak and innocent will be if not equally, then quite possibly more cared for than they are in our so-called civilized modern society. I will use the crime of sexual assault as an example and compare the natural reaction to the "civilized" reaction and permit the reader to judge for their self which reaction is more efficient and satisfactory.

Before I do so though, let me state that I am well aware that our current civilized societies have programs that do aid the weak and innocent and which often can protect them, but these programs come with a trade-off. These programs are only possible because of law and order and social structures. The trade-off is that law and order and social structures bind the hands and the mind, and often create new problems, and many times make it so that cheap deceptive masks must be thrown into society so that the reality can be repressed rather than actually dealt with in an efficient, timely, and quite natural order.

Let us assume that in our example a young autistic girl has been sexually assaulted by a close relative or a friend of the family, as is most often the case. Let us assume that we know for a fact who the perpetrator is. The girl has been raised decently and knows the difference between "good touches" and "bad touches," and like many autistic children, is not particularly prone to lying.

Let us further assume that this young girl went directly to her mother after the incident occurred and told her what had happened, and that this young girl demanded that her father be called immediately because she was terrified of the perpetrator and she knew her father would not only protect her but that he would give her the justice he has always given her, because he loves her.

What in our example would occur in our so-called "civilized" society and what would likely occur if the consequences of the crime were dealt with in a more natural setting? By natural I mean with hands and mind unbound by law and order and social structures which are not fabricated but perhaps more natural social structures.

In the civilized setting the mother would call the father and she and/or him would call the police. Despite their natural feelings (which are very real) they would do nothing else but console the child, which itself, when looked at for face value, is pretty meaningless when no immediate corrective action is seen. They would then take the child to the hospital to be poked and prodded and interviewed. Then the child would sit in terror for days, weeks, or maybe even months as the perpetrator roamed free until enough evidence had been collected to lock them in a cell as they awaited a trial. Finally, perhaps a year or more after the crime occurred and the child had finally started to heal and get past the incident she would suddenly be forced to face her accuser in a big scary courthouse and re-live the incident all over again.

By this time thousands of dollars have been spent and lost, lives have been in constant turmoil, the child has lived in terror that the perpetrator may "get them", and really...absolutely nothing has been done. That is, nothing has been done except the child now feels less empowered, the child feels as if their parents, family, and friends are less capable of protecting them and rendering aid, and generally somewhere deep down inside the child has grown colder because of a lack of efficiency and action.

In the more natural setting the mother would call the father and she and/or him would call friends and family. They would console the child and attend to any medical needs, but they would immediately apprehend the perpetrator and deal with him. The child would not live in terror of the perpetrator because he was already dealt with and the child knows this and has been made quite aware that it has already been handled. Very little money was lost, it was handled quickly and efficiently, and the child feels empowered knowing that they can get justice and that their family, friends, and neighbors will always be there to render them aid and protection.

Certainly, the actual events of the more natural setting could have went quite differently and the perpetrator could have been too powerful for the family to gain justice (maybe the perpetrator could have been a warrior with a large and mighty family or something?), but at least the child would have seen that someone tried to do something!

I know my example is not perfect and I know such an example does not encompass all possibilities, and that it does not necessarily make a strong argument for or against anything on a truly rational and educated level, but it is an example which comes from the heart and the heart is very real.

Personally, everywhere I turn I see a failed society. Certainly our modern civilized society has accomplished many things, but each day I am more and more convinced that it has harmed, hindered, or hoodwinked more than it has helped, healed, and made whole. Our society is inefficient and empty, and it does little or nothing for the soul, which to me, means it does little or nothing at all.

I am not looking for perfection in society, but I am looking for balance and wholeness. Our world is out of whack because it is unbalanced, unfulfilling, untrustworthy, and unhappy. Bad things will always happen but those bad things must be met with equally swift goodness. I believe a short poem which I wrote sums up my feelings on the matter quite succinctly. It has no title which is fitting because the poem is about emptiness:

I am so tired.
Where is my world of butterflies,
where children laugh and no one cries?
Where is this place with steps ahead,
where dreams are made and plans are had?
Empty. Empty are the arms of angels...


Peace & Happiness,

Alraune

Monday, April 21, 2014

Bad News

I have some bad news. I regret to inform my readers that it may be awhile before I am myself and feel that I can post again. You see, my daughter was sexually assaulted by her step-grandfather at about 2:30pm on Monday April 14, 2014. He later tried to kill himself by driving his Jeep off a cliff on Mile Hill Road sometime Tuesday evening.

My daughter is very frightened and needs her daddy. The whole family is a wreck and no one seems like their self at this time. I will be back to posting and ranting again as soon as I am able.

Peace and Happiness to all,


Alraune

Wednesday, January 1, 2014


Happy New Year! It is 2014 and the beginning of a new and glorious year. A new year with Jennelle and with love. Let me speak of her again!

She does little things for me, that I do not and would never ask for, like making my cigarettes for the day (I roll my own) or making breakfast, or just a little something to make the day a little better and a little more beautiful and a little less stressful. That is love!

Just when she leaves me a little note, or a simple Post-It Note with a red heart drawn on it...it makes all the difference when that is the very first thing I see when I awake. I almost want to burst into tears thinking about it because it it so valuable and precious to me. It is so beautiful to me that I save every note in a little shoe box as if it were gold. It is gold to me.

Have you ever known this? I have not. And I never want to know what it is like to not have this again, for I know I truly have love. I have a love that wants to do anything, even a little thing, just to brighten every single day of my life. And I want and do the same.

Its been over seven months. It is not infatuation or gross error, it is true love; it is not a lie or a facade, it is truth.

On New Year's, at midnight, we danced and kissed. We played several songs and danced and hugged and kissed. The same love was still there – a love that is different than all others, bigger, and larger, and stronger. I love her for exactly who she is and she loves me for the same.

I want to speak of freedom to you, but I cannot get this woman out of my head, because I love her so much. She is freedom to me – love is freedom. I was so close, yet I could not place what I was whining or venting about.

I'll say it again, it is love. Love is freedom! Love is not a drug, it is anything and everything that makes sense and purpose in life.

You want to be free? First find yourself, then find someone who loves you for you, whom you love for who they are. Sound difficult? I think it just happens, eventually, when you set out to truly find yourself and BE yourself.

And do not FEAR. For who says it needs to be here or there? This or that? Let love be what it is, when it is, and let time do it's thing. If you walk into love with this attitude, you can survive its might and take full advantage of it, without fear. Just let it be what it is, when it is, and allow it to travel it's course. Just let Love be.

Maybe it is when we try to control love and capture it in some sort of bottle that it dies?

Jen speaks of appreciation, and perhaps that is something huge to her. Me? It is something deeper. It is not appreciation, but desire to make another happy and better. It is a desire to do anything and everything you can, even the little things, to make the life of the one you love just a little bit better – one day at a time. Maybe you could call that appreciation, but I call it love!

Love is not just someone to lean on, but someone who will lift you up both when you are down and even before you have a chance to fall – because they give a damn. It is a heart that is always there, waiting and watching and caring. It is a heart that is so taken by what you give that it would give all it can just to keep what you give effortlessly, out of pure natural love and affection.

Jen is my “trip”. I am tripping for her and I am high as a kite. She is still here and still in love and has seen just about all there is to see. Really the only thing left to see is when I truly lose my temper (which is few and far between) and the playing out of my sexual fantasies (which I am fairly certain she would be more than for).

So what do I mean? Well...sometimes I lose my temper (long fuse, explosive anger) and she has not seen me truly lose it yet (it has scared the shit out of all who have seen it – including me), but I do not see that as a problem as I only lose my temper when it matters and counts and she is one who understands. Maybe she will fully understand? Maybe it will turn her on? Maybe it will be no big deal to her? Maybe I'll never have to go there again?

And what do I mean by sexual fantasies? I am bisexual and quite open when asked, yet understanding and considerate of those I love. Maybe that will bug her one day? Maybe some day I will feel more on the bisexual side and she will catch me watching porn she doesn't feel comfortable with or something? I don't know. She is bisexual as well, so I don't see how, but it could be. Maybe she just won't be capable of figuring out how to handle a man who has my sexual drive and orientation?

Don't get me wrong. I can be monogamous, but it does not change what turns me on.

And this is all part of freedom and knowing the self and having love; it is a complicated thing. Love kind of rises above this all and makes everything alright. Love understands on both sides and finds a way Love transcends!

Granted, she has many desires and infatuations that definitely appeal to me (although she only dances around them), so as I said...I am actually quite positive in thought about the sexual fantasy department – I think she wants to go places that would help to fulfill a bisexual guy anyway.

Let me put that last part this way... I ask myself, being bisexual myself, what it is this woman desires and what is all that I can give to fulfill those needs and desires? I obviously cannot be a woman, but what is it that both men and women can give her that I can give? So I give her emotional support and masculine strength and love and I go down on her often – I give the best I can to capture all worlds. I know I can never be a substitute for all longings, but I can be the best thing across the board – the best love. I know I can compete in that arena and I can be me. And I am open enough for her to come to if the longings to play out her sexuality are too strong. I won't and don't care, so long as my body, health, mind, and heart are considered in the equation – I demand her freedom.

Is it wrong for me to do so? I don't think so. And maybe I should say such more? Or maybe I should keep my mouth shut and love as I do? Or maybe we both should run amuck and do our thing? I honestly do not know. I am honestly new to loving and not giving a shit as to what I WANT to be projected onto the other (non-freedom). I am still trying to figure out just how to let the other be FREE and be their self and still LOVE them.

Anyway...happy 2014 and happy love! Live your life FREE and with PEACE and LOVE! Be satisfied and feekl wanted and appreciated.

Blessings,

Alraune

P.S. Jen is right. There is lot's of love in this house. That is why I am still here and why I am who I am. But love does not come without pain, and there is tons of hurt, but love conquers all, and the hurt only makes the love stronger.

I am deadly dangerous not because I went to bodyguard school, but because I love. The most dangerous man is not one who has nothing to care for, but one who has everything to care for. It is impossible to defeat a man or woman who has everything to lose with the strength of any army or weapon of the world, for love conquers all... Love will always find a way!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Grand Ideas

Wow! I have been getting way off track. Not that such was a bad thing, but I need to get back on track lest I faulter and fail. Freedom ain't free, ya know? Or so they say!

I've been kicking around ideas of getting my CDL, mostly because Jen and my good friend Steve both suggested it, but also because it makes sense. I can travel and get paid to do so. It is a way to live within the system and get my way, Certainly I must give concessions this way, but it is a way.

I know it is not what I want to do forever – I want to be free, travel AND make money and exist and thrive on my own or with my team in which I am an equal, not for some company and stock holders. Nor do I want to be constricted by government rules and regulations because I am part of and supporting a system I know and fully believe is broken, corrupt, screwed up to no end and destroying humanity itself.

It's a way, among many to get there, and it may work best for me. I'll have to continue to kick around the idea and see what doors open – that's when I know it is meant to be.

I didn't get anything I truly enjoyed because I went looking and chasing. I got such because a door opened and I walked through.

I see life as this: You see a receptacle and you grab a plug that interests you, you try it. If it works you go, if not you move on. A door opens, you make a choice, and that is that. Free will AND a master plan (someone working behind the scenes).

So what is on my mind? Get a good laptop. Try my hand at microstock photography, continue my efforts at blogging and writing and graphic design and get more serious again. Also try my hand at erotica. AND find a new job to supplement things, including trying a risk-free but sensible and the best option at trucking. I figure it is worth a try. Then learn herbalism and learn it good and go from there.

That's my plan. Plus, get myself a van next year, as I had intended.

I can do all of this while planning and plotting with Jennelle, but I need to stay focused on these things, for they are me.

Also, pursue my mystical and magical and paranormal interests – they are me. Incorporate them into my overall focus and aim somehow.

I have to go there, I have to go now. Life is short and I must stay on task.

I need to find some time to meditate and do spiritual things. I need to get back to my time with the God/dess and think and plot and plan and DO. All I need to do it like before, just set aside and hold to one day a week (a lunar phase), for such things. It makes all the difference.

One cannot sit idly by and wait for the world to become what they wish – they must act, somehow and someway and look for open doors. And you can't act properly or see properly if your head is not screwed on correctly, which is a totally spiritual issue, in my opinion.

You have to remember what means what to you. You have to remember where you came from and where you intend to go. Do you not?


You must be strong and recognize yourself.

Let me say a little of myself. I don't know why, but this comes to mind...

Many say, “the female body is beautiful and best to look at” and I quite agree, but the male body has its own beauty. Study it once. Study it carefully. It is a machine – a powerful machine made to work and war and persevere. It is a beautiful machine, but not a mere mechanical machine, an organic machine of sublime, natural and raw beauty.

Look at the shoulders and the way they are built for power. Look at the hips and buttocks and how they are positioned for explosive power and strength – see how the center of gravity is set perfectly in the male body for how it is made. See the arms, their length and their muscle. See the hands and their power to grasp. Notice the chest muscles and how they are made to push away or lift the body upwards. Study the calf muscles and how they are thick and durable and the shape of the thighs designed to propel the legs and the entire body in any direction.

Study the back. Notice the position of the spine and the muscles which push and pull upon it. Again look at the shoulders and the hips and see how they are built for explosive power.

Then look at the feet and see how well they are made to balance the body they hold up and notice the head which sits atop it all. Look at the skull and how it is made thick and aerodynamic for battle. Notice the nose and the ears and the eyes and how they all sit perfectly, not for beauty, but for the purpose of power, cunning, and battle. How they “fit” for sensory perception in compatibility to the body.

See the intensity of the eyes. Look at the roughness of the skin and its softness which knew no battle. Was this because it fought little or because it fought much and left unscathed?

Study the male body for the beauty it was meant to be studied in. Not for childbirth or attraction to gain it, but for power, protection, and cunning.

I look at my own body and it metaphorically describes me, as I believe all physical bodies metaphorically are the manifestations of the true inner self (good and bad). My body is powerful, extremely powerful, and it comes with an equally powerful mind. I am built to work and war and succeed. When anyone sees me they see my physical power, first. They see how I strive and try and fight and I move forward like a bulldozer and press on and do not cease. Without knowing me they may not see any imagination or thought behind my mechanical being, but they do see the mechanical aspect.

Well, that is my mind and spirit! I move steadily forward and plow over my obstacles without fear or worry that I cannot – I simply do. I may not be invincible, but I know enough to know that I am damn near the fact if I am determined enough. I simply have the mechanics: body, mind, and spirit. I am not to be underestimated – ever. I am a force to be reckoned with, not because I say so, but because I am what I am and I am blessed to be. Look out if I am truly determined and want to do it! Better yet, just get out of the way.

Indeed, the beauty of a man is his machine-like qualities combined with his human emotion. I have these in a very potentiating format. Perhaps that is truly what many recognize in me? I can do it, if I truly want too.

I am not trying to talk myself up – I don't need too. I am trying to make a poetic point. That point is that I can and I will – I just don't know how or when just yet. But I know I will – I know it is already written in me and everyone can see it on the surface. So how much more can they see it if they look beneath?

I guess what I am trying to say is all for me and also for those who need to hear it for themselves. Stay on task, stay on focus. FIGHT! THINK! DO! GET THERE! Count on no one and nothing but you, after all it is your dream and your life. You can share it with others, but it is not truly sharing if it is not your's to begin with. That is why it is important to stay on task and stay focused! You have nothing to share if you have nothing to give, and you have nothing to give if you have nothing of your own.

I think I learned this lesson the hard way when I tried to give all of myself to another and just about destroyed myself doing so. I lost all sense of who I was, which is probably the main thing that went wrong – I will not go there again. I cannot afford too. Where I went was too far. I had the right idea, but all of the wrong conclusions.

There is nothing to share if there is no YOU. That is why it is so important to know who YOU are. Freedom starts with YOU! And relationships are like butterflies and the old saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it is your's, if it does not it never was.” What that means is freedom all around. It means true love is sharing and sharing requires freedom and something that is YOU and only YOU to share with the other.

Relationships die two ways: when we lose ourselves and when we lose the “us” and it becomes all about the self. Simple, straight forward, and quite probably fact.

Just let it be.

Strive to be YOU and share what you have to offer with others. Plain and simple.

Can the key to life be that simple?

Alraune