Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year! It is 2014 and the beginning of a new and glorious year. A new year with Jennelle and with love. Let me speak of her again!

She does little things for me, that I do not and would never ask for, like making my cigarettes for the day (I roll my own) or making breakfast, or just a little something to make the day a little better and a little more beautiful and a little less stressful. That is love!

Just when she leaves me a little note, or a simple Post-It Note with a red heart drawn on makes all the difference when that is the very first thing I see when I awake. I almost want to burst into tears thinking about it because it it so valuable and precious to me. It is so beautiful to me that I save every note in a little shoe box as if it were gold. It is gold to me.

Have you ever known this? I have not. And I never want to know what it is like to not have this again, for I know I truly have love. I have a love that wants to do anything, even a little thing, just to brighten every single day of my life. And I want and do the same.

Its been over seven months. It is not infatuation or gross error, it is true love; it is not a lie or a facade, it is truth.

On New Year's, at midnight, we danced and kissed. We played several songs and danced and hugged and kissed. The same love was still there – a love that is different than all others, bigger, and larger, and stronger. I love her for exactly who she is and she loves me for the same.

I want to speak of freedom to you, but I cannot get this woman out of my head, because I love her so much. She is freedom to me – love is freedom. I was so close, yet I could not place what I was whining or venting about.

I'll say it again, it is love. Love is freedom! Love is not a drug, it is anything and everything that makes sense and purpose in life.

You want to be free? First find yourself, then find someone who loves you for you, whom you love for who they are. Sound difficult? I think it just happens, eventually, when you set out to truly find yourself and BE yourself.

And do not FEAR. For who says it needs to be here or there? This or that? Let love be what it is, when it is, and let time do it's thing. If you walk into love with this attitude, you can survive its might and take full advantage of it, without fear. Just let it be what it is, when it is, and allow it to travel it's course. Just let Love be.

Maybe it is when we try to control love and capture it in some sort of bottle that it dies?

Jen speaks of appreciation, and perhaps that is something huge to her. Me? It is something deeper. It is not appreciation, but desire to make another happy and better. It is a desire to do anything and everything you can, even the little things, to make the life of the one you love just a little bit better – one day at a time. Maybe you could call that appreciation, but I call it love!

Love is not just someone to lean on, but someone who will lift you up both when you are down and even before you have a chance to fall – because they give a damn. It is a heart that is always there, waiting and watching and caring. It is a heart that is so taken by what you give that it would give all it can just to keep what you give effortlessly, out of pure natural love and affection.

Jen is my “trip”. I am tripping for her and I am high as a kite. She is still here and still in love and has seen just about all there is to see. Really the only thing left to see is when I truly lose my temper (which is few and far between) and the playing out of my sexual fantasies (which I am fairly certain she would be more than for).

So what do I mean? Well...sometimes I lose my temper (long fuse, explosive anger) and she has not seen me truly lose it yet (it has scared the shit out of all who have seen it – including me), but I do not see that as a problem as I only lose my temper when it matters and counts and she is one who understands. Maybe she will fully understand? Maybe it will turn her on? Maybe it will be no big deal to her? Maybe I'll never have to go there again?

And what do I mean by sexual fantasies? I am bisexual and quite open when asked, yet understanding and considerate of those I love. Maybe that will bug her one day? Maybe some day I will feel more on the bisexual side and she will catch me watching porn she doesn't feel comfortable with or something? I don't know. She is bisexual as well, so I don't see how, but it could be. Maybe she just won't be capable of figuring out how to handle a man who has my sexual drive and orientation?

Don't get me wrong. I can be monogamous, but it does not change what turns me on.

And this is all part of freedom and knowing the self and having love; it is a complicated thing. Love kind of rises above this all and makes everything alright. Love understands on both sides and finds a way Love transcends!

Granted, she has many desires and infatuations that definitely appeal to me (although she only dances around them), so as I said...I am actually quite positive in thought about the sexual fantasy department – I think she wants to go places that would help to fulfill a bisexual guy anyway.

Let me put that last part this way... I ask myself, being bisexual myself, what it is this woman desires and what is all that I can give to fulfill those needs and desires? I obviously cannot be a woman, but what is it that both men and women can give her that I can give? So I give her emotional support and masculine strength and love and I go down on her often – I give the best I can to capture all worlds. I know I can never be a substitute for all longings, but I can be the best thing across the board – the best love. I know I can compete in that arena and I can be me. And I am open enough for her to come to if the longings to play out her sexuality are too strong. I won't and don't care, so long as my body, health, mind, and heart are considered in the equation – I demand her freedom.

Is it wrong for me to do so? I don't think so. And maybe I should say such more? Or maybe I should keep my mouth shut and love as I do? Or maybe we both should run amuck and do our thing? I honestly do not know. I am honestly new to loving and not giving a shit as to what I WANT to be projected onto the other (non-freedom). I am still trying to figure out just how to let the other be FREE and be their self and still LOVE them.

Anyway...happy 2014 and happy love! Live your life FREE and with PEACE and LOVE! Be satisfied and feekl wanted and appreciated.



P.S. Jen is right. There is lot's of love in this house. That is why I am still here and why I am who I am. But love does not come without pain, and there is tons of hurt, but love conquers all, and the hurt only makes the love stronger.

I am deadly dangerous not because I went to bodyguard school, but because I love. The most dangerous man is not one who has nothing to care for, but one who has everything to care for. It is impossible to defeat a man or woman who has everything to lose with the strength of any army or weapon of the world, for love conquers all... Love will always find a way!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Grand Ideas

Wow! I have been getting way off track. Not that such was a bad thing, but I need to get back on track lest I faulter and fail. Freedom ain't free, ya know? Or so they say!

I've been kicking around ideas of getting my CDL, mostly because Jen and my good friend Steve both suggested it, but also because it makes sense. I can travel and get paid to do so. It is a way to live within the system and get my way, Certainly I must give concessions this way, but it is a way.

I know it is not what I want to do forever – I want to be free, travel AND make money and exist and thrive on my own or with my team in which I am an equal, not for some company and stock holders. Nor do I want to be constricted by government rules and regulations because I am part of and supporting a system I know and fully believe is broken, corrupt, screwed up to no end and destroying humanity itself.

It's a way, among many to get there, and it may work best for me. I'll have to continue to kick around the idea and see what doors open – that's when I know it is meant to be.

I didn't get anything I truly enjoyed because I went looking and chasing. I got such because a door opened and I walked through.

I see life as this: You see a receptacle and you grab a plug that interests you, you try it. If it works you go, if not you move on. A door opens, you make a choice, and that is that. Free will AND a master plan (someone working behind the scenes).

So what is on my mind? Get a good laptop. Try my hand at microstock photography, continue my efforts at blogging and writing and graphic design and get more serious again. Also try my hand at erotica. AND find a new job to supplement things, including trying a risk-free but sensible and the best option at trucking. I figure it is worth a try. Then learn herbalism and learn it good and go from there.

That's my plan. Plus, get myself a van next year, as I had intended.

I can do all of this while planning and plotting with Jennelle, but I need to stay focused on these things, for they are me.

Also, pursue my mystical and magical and paranormal interests – they are me. Incorporate them into my overall focus and aim somehow.

I have to go there, I have to go now. Life is short and I must stay on task.

I need to find some time to meditate and do spiritual things. I need to get back to my time with the God/dess and think and plot and plan and DO. All I need to do it like before, just set aside and hold to one day a week (a lunar phase), for such things. It makes all the difference.

One cannot sit idly by and wait for the world to become what they wish – they must act, somehow and someway and look for open doors. And you can't act properly or see properly if your head is not screwed on correctly, which is a totally spiritual issue, in my opinion.

You have to remember what means what to you. You have to remember where you came from and where you intend to go. Do you not?

You must be strong and recognize yourself.

Let me say a little of myself. I don't know why, but this comes to mind...

Many say, “the female body is beautiful and best to look at” and I quite agree, but the male body has its own beauty. Study it once. Study it carefully. It is a machine – a powerful machine made to work and war and persevere. It is a beautiful machine, but not a mere mechanical machine, an organic machine of sublime, natural and raw beauty.

Look at the shoulders and the way they are built for power. Look at the hips and buttocks and how they are positioned for explosive power and strength – see how the center of gravity is set perfectly in the male body for how it is made. See the arms, their length and their muscle. See the hands and their power to grasp. Notice the chest muscles and how they are made to push away or lift the body upwards. Study the calf muscles and how they are thick and durable and the shape of the thighs designed to propel the legs and the entire body in any direction.

Study the back. Notice the position of the spine and the muscles which push and pull upon it. Again look at the shoulders and the hips and see how they are built for explosive power.

Then look at the feet and see how well they are made to balance the body they hold up and notice the head which sits atop it all. Look at the skull and how it is made thick and aerodynamic for battle. Notice the nose and the ears and the eyes and how they all sit perfectly, not for beauty, but for the purpose of power, cunning, and battle. How they “fit” for sensory perception in compatibility to the body.

See the intensity of the eyes. Look at the roughness of the skin and its softness which knew no battle. Was this because it fought little or because it fought much and left unscathed?

Study the male body for the beauty it was meant to be studied in. Not for childbirth or attraction to gain it, but for power, protection, and cunning.

I look at my own body and it metaphorically describes me, as I believe all physical bodies metaphorically are the manifestations of the true inner self (good and bad). My body is powerful, extremely powerful, and it comes with an equally powerful mind. I am built to work and war and succeed. When anyone sees me they see my physical power, first. They see how I strive and try and fight and I move forward like a bulldozer and press on and do not cease. Without knowing me they may not see any imagination or thought behind my mechanical being, but they do see the mechanical aspect.

Well, that is my mind and spirit! I move steadily forward and plow over my obstacles without fear or worry that I cannot – I simply do. I may not be invincible, but I know enough to know that I am damn near the fact if I am determined enough. I simply have the mechanics: body, mind, and spirit. I am not to be underestimated – ever. I am a force to be reckoned with, not because I say so, but because I am what I am and I am blessed to be. Look out if I am truly determined and want to do it! Better yet, just get out of the way.

Indeed, the beauty of a man is his machine-like qualities combined with his human emotion. I have these in a very potentiating format. Perhaps that is truly what many recognize in me? I can do it, if I truly want too.

I am not trying to talk myself up – I don't need too. I am trying to make a poetic point. That point is that I can and I will – I just don't know how or when just yet. But I know I will – I know it is already written in me and everyone can see it on the surface. So how much more can they see it if they look beneath?

I guess what I am trying to say is all for me and also for those who need to hear it for themselves. Stay on task, stay on focus. FIGHT! THINK! DO! GET THERE! Count on no one and nothing but you, after all it is your dream and your life. You can share it with others, but it is not truly sharing if it is not your's to begin with. That is why it is important to stay on task and stay focused! You have nothing to share if you have nothing to give, and you have nothing to give if you have nothing of your own.

I think I learned this lesson the hard way when I tried to give all of myself to another and just about destroyed myself doing so. I lost all sense of who I was, which is probably the main thing that went wrong – I will not go there again. I cannot afford too. Where I went was too far. I had the right idea, but all of the wrong conclusions.

There is nothing to share if there is no YOU. That is why it is so important to know who YOU are. Freedom starts with YOU! And relationships are like butterflies and the old saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it is your's, if it does not it never was.” What that means is freedom all around. It means true love is sharing and sharing requires freedom and something that is YOU and only YOU to share with the other.

Relationships die two ways: when we lose ourselves and when we lose the “us” and it becomes all about the self. Simple, straight forward, and quite probably fact.

Just let it be.

Strive to be YOU and share what you have to offer with others. Plain and simple.

Can the key to life be that simple?


Friday, September 20, 2013

Love and Freedom

It's been precisely one hundred twelve days since I began seeing Jennelle, and I am mad, mad, mad, crazy in love with her. And I realize something – love is freedom. You could be bound up, twisted up, beaten, cold, and with all odds against you, but if you have have freedom and you have hope.

That's it! That's what I've always loved and always missed about loving another – it is the power of it and the fact that it cannot just make the impossible seem possible, but all things possible. Love does things to your mind, your heart, and every ounce of your being – it changes you. It is magic in that it can alter your perceptions and change your mind and your heart and thus change everything. Love gives you hope, belief, strength, and literally everything.

Everything is possible to those who believe, and love makes you believe. Love can imprison and set free, but when it leaves you wounded it will always come around and mend the pieces which cannot be fixed by time – the pieces of yourself which are missing without someone to love.

The song "The Rose" by Conway Twitty perfectly encapsulates what love is and what it means to me. The song goes through all the stages of love and it is all about the power of love and the freedom it can take away through it's pain as well as the intense mind-blowing freedom it has to give by unleashing its power.

When I spent that first night with Jennelle up on Shade Mountain we were sitting there talking and telling stories. I found a small flower (really, it was teeny tiny) and I gave it to her. It was a symbolic gesture on my part. I can't remember if I handed it to her or threw it at her – that is how much of a conscious gesture of symbolism it was at the time, but that flower is not the point, it is that moment. I planted a very very small seed on the top of that mountain, a seed of life and freedom and peace and happiness. The song "The Rose" really fits that moment because it tells the story of everything that was in me at that moment and everything I had to give which was hidden away but dying to come out.

I found a little more of the freedom I have been longing for by finding Jennelle. I can't explain it and I am trying too. As the song says, I will not be "the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live." I want to live and I want to love! I can't be free if I cannot love, and love like I want to because loving is a part of me.

And my Goddess the liberty in it all! It just makes me hear music and beauty everywhere! A thousand songs run through my mind at once: "Sugar Magnolia" by the Grateful Dead, "Somebody Like You" by Keith Urban, "Good Lovin'" by the Grateful Dead, "Woman" by John Lennon, "Your Man" by Josh Turner, "Hangin' By A Moment" by Lifehouse, "Believe" by Lenny Kravitz, "4th of July" by Shooter Jennings, "When It's Love" by Van Halen, "Happy Together" by The Turtles, "Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company, "Is this Love" by Bob Marley & the Wailers, and dozens upon dozens upon dozens of others.

It just feels good to feel this good for this long, and to know that I am more alive and more free than ever before.

Words cannot describe.



Thursday, August 15, 2013

75 Days Later

I am a happy soul and a happy man. It is great to be in love again. Every time I try to love deeper, better, with more thought, more feeling, and more depth of thought and balance in case it works or it does not. Certainly there is no rationale to what is called love, but it sure as hell feels rational when living in that moment. I think this time I may have found a woman who is near my mentality and intellectual as well as emotional level when it comes to actually building something, working together, and going forward.

She seems to be very truthful when she says it is not all about sex, but then again, so have others. A certain ex-girlfriend is correct about me and I have to watch for it and be weary – I am intense. When I fall into love I come on as intense physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and it can quickly swallow a soul and make them lose track of the deeper me which they may or may not love, especially if they needed such intensity at that particular moment in their life. I'd be lying if I said I did not worry about this.

And it is not all the woman. I too play a part and get swallowed by the intensity of it all, perhaps sometimes more so than they. That is the price one must pay for having a soul and being capable of emotion and empathy for others. I think I have learned a few things along the way though and I have hope this time, and each time. Many women I have loved and dated have wanted a man who is the perfect balance (perfect for them, that is) between a man who is manly, powerful, strong, skillful and forceful and a man who is open, communicative, social, empathizing, caring, kind, and deep (to name a few important traits). Thankfully, I walk that fine line and always have, which is probably why I am found attractive by the women I have known and some I have not. I have learned this and in my maturity I am learning to refine it and be better at it in all arenas.

Naturally, I am and will just be myself, but I am constantly seeking to improve upon myself so long as it is truly me. So far the man I have become seems to be something Jennelle greatly enjoys, and that makes me very happy.

On the 44th day we both said we loved one another, and this time...different than all others...she said it first. I could see in her eyes that she truly meant it, at least at that moment, and so I kissed her and held her deeply. That moment is all I ever wanted in my life – that moment!

Jen is everything I ever dreamed of. I thank the God/dess for her and resign myself to be thankful no matter how long it lasts, but to wish it to last forever. She is beautiful, she is strong, she is smart, she is inquisitive, she is child-like...she actually “gets me” and does not see any part of me as insane, but knows exactly what is going on in my head and my heart. She sees right through me, and like she said to me, I feel naked around her, but it is alright. I don't think any love truly exists unless both feel completely comfortable and naked around one another.

Her life has become better since she met me and I view that as a gift and confirmation from above. She has a better job and a better life ahead of her. All is going well for her, and she says, “you're next.” THAT is why I love her! She is silently aching inside to see the same fate befall me, as I have always done for her. She is my mirror, as she says I am to her.

She says she has never been loved like I love her, and by God/dess I will not allow her to ever think otherwise! I want to love her like no one ever has and no one ever will, and I want to because I need too. But not too much at once...I must savor it, allow her to soak it up, and move slowly but steadily and with equal fervor along the entire length.

I will not allow anything to ruin that love. I do not expect her to be perfect. I do not expect her to never go astray (though I have a feeling she is much less likely than any other). I don't expect anything from her other than she expect from me what I have always done and always will do for her. If I can do that and be me and true to myself, then I know I will have her forever. If she can do that, then we shall be forever.

I sometimes wonder if I had met her before. Perhaps in a bar some time when she was hanging with Julie? Perhaps I was with Kim at the time or just hanging with some friends, or maybe I was alone and in my head? I sometimes get the feeling I did, but did not recognize, and I certainly do not remember. Needless to say, she was always no more than three degrees of separation away, we just never knew it.

In any event, I am beginning to feel I have found what Daryle Singletary called “that Amen kind of love,” and I am thankful to Freya for it. It is not me rebounding or anything. I had purposefully ceased dating for some six years. It took me that long to get over my past loves, find myself, and grow. No past love would recognize the true me any longer, but that does not matter...who I am now was not meant for them, it was meant for this moment now. They were meant to help bring me here. I will always love them in their moment and time, and I have told Jennelle this. She agrees this is right!

Jen has met my parents and my daughter. They all like her. I have met her parents and some of her other family. They all like me, including her father, who is apparently a hard case but somehow he took to me. Her family is actually a lot like my own, more so than the family of any other I have ever known (nothing against those wonderful families, but there is more similarity here).

Jen makes me feel like getting of my ass, which is how I feel about my life myself – another area of compatibility. She worries about my happiness and my health. She actually and truly cares about me. Thank you God/dess!

We both have a thing for the forest and camping and more than a dozen times we have run off into the forest just to get naked and frolic. We both love good cooking and good eats and it all goes right along with everything else we do. She is truthfully my kind of woman. Neither of us leads and neither of us follows.

I don't know what I did to make her love me. Perhaps I will ask her? But I am glad I did it. The past 75 days have been wonderful, fulfilling, youthful, and sublime. I think I will go ask her now. We talk like that.

May you find your love,


Monday, July 8, 2013

The Last 37 Days

The past thirty-seven days have been some of the greatest days in my life and the most fun I have had in a very long time. It all began sometime in April when I just started, for some reason, to begin heavily flirting with several women at work. By May the flirting with a certain coworker (Jen - the only female on my team) had grown to almost downright sexual harassment (on both ends). Then for some reason or the other in the last week of May, I just stayed in the parking lot after work talking to Jen.

We had an hour and a half long discussion about relationships and near the end of the conversation I invited her to go camping with me. The following day she came to work and told me she accepted the invitation, but she thought I meant that weekend (which I did not intend), so I finagled a quick camping permit and it was a date! I got her number and the rest is history.

We met in the parking lot of Giant on the morning of June 1st just after 10 am. I was supposed to be there by ten o'clock, but I nearly lost the camping permit and arrived late after doing a whole house search (it was behind my bookshelf).

When I arrived Jen got out of her car and she looked absolutely beautiful to me. She was dressed nice, but campy and we quickly tossed all of our stuff together in her car (which was bigger than mine) and then headed into Giant for food and other supplies. By about noon we arrived at the designated camping spot on Shade Mountain.

We set-up camp together and then just lounged around and talked for nine hours about everything, and we told life stories and all kinds of stories. It was one of the most pleasant and open conversations I have ever had. By 9pm we were lying on a blanket under the stars and then, just as I was working towards it, she kissed me. Before long the clothes were off and we were pleasing one another in just about every way imaginable. Certainly, we both wanted sex, but that long conversation had done something more, and anyone who has ever been with me knows that long conversations are my way. I try to build relationships on a psychological and emotional level beside any sexual relationship.

The rest of our time at camp would be one of total nudity. I guess we were both psychologically and emotionally nude, so we figured “what the hell.” We talked into the early morning hours, pleased one another again, and then fell asleep to the sounds of the forest. The next day we got up, broke camp and left, but June 1st thru June 2nd will forever be a big deal to me.

The rest of June we would not go a single twenty-four hours without either talking to one another on the phone or being together. We went for coffee nearly every night after work, drove around and explored on our days off, and I even went to Bingo with her and her mother and won them nearly $150!

We drove to a campsite out Spruce Run that I had scouted and planned to camp at prior to ever dating Jen, and we planned a week long camping trip there from June 18th to June 24th. We left for the campsite directly from work at 1am on the 18th, drove to Milmont to get the permit, and arrived at the campsite just as the sun was rising (we tend to always be together when the sun rises).

We did everything together that week: we talked together; we cooked together; we ate together; we washed clothes together; did camp chores together; bathed together; slept together; started fires together; played games together; acted goofy and crazy together, and generally had a blast just being together. We found out that we could spend one hundred and forty-four hours together and not once get irritated, annoyed or upset with the other; that we were more alike than anything, and we both had the same or similar ideas. It was the best Summer Solstice ever and a very magical moment for us both!

We went skinny-dipping in the nearby stream, made love every night, and even made love under the light of the Full Moon (a Super Moon). It was a real relationship builder – I have always thought camping to be the perfect way to both build a relationship and see any strengths, weaknesses, or faults. Everything was actually perfect!

We left just before noon on the 24th and I headed home to get ready for work later that day. Since then it has been a lot of demand from our employer, but we've still managed to find time for one another every single day and night.

I don't know if it is going to last, but I can honestly say I want it too. I do not want "us" to ever parish, but I'm not going to allow myself to be destroyed if we do not last – I will see our relationship as it is: Perfect in our time and place. I have hopes because there is so much there, so much in common, and so much that just fits perfectly.

I've always liked the name Jen (her family has a thing for 'J' names just like my family) and for some reason my life at the age of thirty-seven (I always saw it as special). She's not a real girly-type girl, more of a Tomboy (the way I like them), but she is both physically and mentally attractive.

She has no children and cannot have them unless a miracle of science occurs (she had really aggressive cervical cancer nearly ten years ago), but I am okay with this and she knows this. She has auburn hair, a great smile, an awesome laugh, a nice butt, and probably the largest breasts I've ever had the pleasure of snuggling (36 DDD) – sorry, I'm a T & A kinda of guy. She is intelligent, emotionally mature, spiritual, highly sexual, a great cook, family-oriented, communicative, strong-headed, and considerate. To top it all off she enjoys the same kind of sex I do and she is also bisexual.

We are a Scorpio and a Sagittarius roaming through the world together, making our movie. She is good with fire and I am comfortable amidst the water. We were born twenty-one days apart in the same year, same season, and same month, and we were both born on the same day of the week – Friday, Freya's Day. We were both born at night (me at 6:26 pm and her at 8:06 pm). She was born between the New Moon and the First Quarter and I was born between the Last Quarter Moon and the New Moon, with a Total Lunar Eclipse ocurring between us (eleven days after her arrival and ten days prior to my entrance into the world), and I wouldn't be one bit surprised to find the eclipse was precisely mid-way at 10 ½ days – I really wouldn't...we fit so perfect it is actually kinda freaky.

I could go on about Jen forever, but I wanted to record this stuff for posterity. This time means something to me, we both needed it, and I am happy that it has happened and is happening. The God/dess is good.

Peace, Love & Happiness.


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

A New Love

I haven't written for awhile and that reason is: a woman – Jen. She is incredible and I thank the Goddess Freya for her. Our first date was camping and I couldn't have possibly asked for more. I spent 9 straight hours talking to her before I even kissed her (this is my way), and she is madly deeply into me, as I am her.

She is 21 days older than me and a near mirror of myself. She is crazy (in a good kind of way), highly sexual (and very good at it) – the best ever (and I didn't think that could be topped), highly intelligent, an awesome cook (specifically on a campfire), crazy about the natural (she even likes camping nude), into mythology (specifically Celtic and Norse/Germanic), loves fantasy novels, and is cool with me as me all the way from the skin to the bone and spirit. Mere words cannot describe how incredibly perfect she is!

The Goddess Freya shines down upon us (in more ways than one) and there are so many confirmations it is bizarre. Neither of us dare not say it at this time (we are too old and too wise to say such after a mere 27 days), but we are falling in love.

I wonder where she has been my whole life, but I know it was not meant for then, but for now.

We work together and we work great together – we know this. If that is not a firm foundation, then there is none (in my mind). I love this woman, and I did not think I would ever love again...

We just spent an entire week together camping (without pants) and it was the greatest and most fulfilling week of my life. I did not think this woman existed! And I can tell – she is not fake. Words cannot describe the happiness she brings, and I am content just knowing I have her NOW. For the first time in so long (too long) I think of nothing but her.

I am overjoyed with her in my life. I thank the Goddess for her, and for the first time in a long time I can say again, “I never want to die” - not as in “me”, but as in “us”. I feel complete. I don't know what to say – I am exceedingly happy, and I thank the Goddess for her.

Thank you Goddess for giving me Jennelle. Thank you so much! Even my daughter's face shines upon us just as the Sun's rays shined upon her beautiful body dripping dry and the Moon shined upon us every night we made love.

Words cannot describe my happiness – I am healed.



Sunday, May 19, 2013

Let's Hear Adam Kokesh

I know nothing about this guy, but I do know that my Great Uncle died in WWII, my uncle served in the Korean War, my dad volunteered for the Air Force during the Vietnam War, my cousin was in Libya with the Marines, my other cousin is still a recruiter for the Marines, and my brother served in the Air Force during 9/11.  Let this man speak!  I don't give a damn if he is wrong or ignorant, LET HIM SPEAK!  Otherwise, what the Hell were any of my family doing?

What did this guy do wrong to be arrested?  Tell me...and I might shut up, but it better be really good, 'cause his history gives him quite a bit of room to speak, in my opinion.  Besides that,. the Constitution gives us all a right to speak - so what did this guy do wrong?

I don't really understand what this man did wrong, but I do know that as an American citizen he should have the RIGHT to speak and express himself!  I don't give a damn if I like his opinions or if anyone else does - that is what rights are made for.

Frankly, my feeling is that if we are going to make veterans heroes, then we should do so all the way, and not just when the media or gooberment says!

I think we ALL need to know "what" this guy did, "where" he is, "what" it will take to make him free, and "how" he got there.  If we do not look after our soldiers then who do we look after?  What is this all about?

At this point, no one even knows where this guy is...  What's up with that, and why are We letting it happen?