Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Women, Witchcraft, and Weed

So why all of this crap about that certain "groovy" hippie chick? Because part of becoming free and finding true individual liberty is in confronting past relationships and how/why they affected you.

You see. I got pretty messed up being a young father and having my relationship ripped apart after five years, then getting with her (my supposed rebound relationship) and losing that after nearly five years. Then I fell for Patrisha (Trish) Neill, had a few flings in between and truly fell in love with Diana Marley.

I ruined them all for that woman because I had not healed from my first love, Tara, and projected it all upon her (that certain woman). The fact is, I never loved her like any other – I merely projected every essence of my love upon her, and it cost me dearly, severely screwed me up, and maybe even caused her to think I was crazy (in the end). She really was not worth it – she proved that!

It took me a very long time to realize this, but it is all true.

I did truly love her (that certain "groovy" woman) with every ounce of my being, but she did not deserve it, and I was not in my right mind to truly provide it. I have spent so long coming to realize this. Let's start simple (and it does not exclude any other supposedly loves)...

First, I want to travel. She was good for that but she loves the system (I do not). She was a woman who could not be happy without television and a couch – I hate that in a woman. I truly hate trying to maintain a relationship with ANYONE who wishes to stay home and plugged in – it just is not me!'

Second, I am polyamorous. None of my other lovers were that I recall, and she might have been the closest (and probably is), but she would never admit it, so she could never confront such a relationship if she cannot “know herself.”

Third, and most importantly, I am not a “it fits me; therefore it is true” kind of guy – she was. I need at least an objective or interjective reason for my beliefs – simply subjective is not good enough – we have a very different core philosophy. It also helps that I understand where mine came from – she has ZERO clue (she merely thinks it is so)..

There is a lot of relational-psychology and also personal philosophy involved here to try to explain this, so let's just say – I woke up (but it took a very long time).

It is important because it is part of freedom and individual liberty!

Basically, and straight and to the point... I loved every woman I was ever with – some more than others; and my psychological issues at those times screwed much of that up. I apologize much to both Trish and Diana. Now I move on...

So far as that certain woman goes... It was good, but you aren't what you think you are, you need knocked down a peg, and you are lucky the Goddess gave you curable cancer – STOP! PAUSE! THINK! You only ever PAY if you act without thinking AND if you refuse to learn from your life's mistakes, which includes eventually learning to “think” right. STOP! Leave everyone else out of the equation – you can do it! Goodbye (that is my final word)!

And enough of that woman forever. We are done. My life now gets better and happier.

I am sorry for hurting you all. I am fixed now and I know what it is up! I "know myself" and I am sorry for hurting those I did.

Peace! Let's all move on. I cursed no one – they cursed themselves.

Let TRUE love come to me.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Finishing the Kim Thing

Yes, it is true - that certain "groovy" woman was a big part of my life, and I am no longer very fond of her.  It is not that she is a bad woman or things bad need to be spoken of her.  She is a woman who is trying - she should be left alone to do such.  She may think whatever she wishes about me (that is her right and perogative), but I also reserve the right to express my feelings about our relationship and how it had its effect upon me.

First, for all you men or women, she is a great lay - I mean that.  Go for it if you can, because it is nice.  It is not an opportunity you should pass up in this life if you have nothing to lose over it.  She will treat you nice, be very kind to you, do things you never thought another would do, and generally help you to be happy and at least momentarily - fulfilled - she is a blessing of the goddess.  Go for her if you have her - "trust me" you ALL have a chance.  She'll never know what the hell she wants because she refuses to ponder it - she really does.  She is AFRAID of somethings so much and few can help her fears of reality.

Go for it.  Love her and try to make her happy.  She needs you!  She needs you all because she is that scared!

But enough of her.  She was great and I will always love her, but we are done.  I mean done.  I might screw her (and of course hang out with her) to comfort her, but it would take a miracle to love her again.  Frankly I think it would take a miracle for anyone to love her because she is so scared of so many things she could never commit to love in that way.  If "real" love is even what she ever wants...

After so many years, it became more about what I knew she needed than me - that chick needs someone to relieve her FEAR.  If anyone can, please do so.

I cannot help her.  Can you believe that?  I know I cannot.  I hope you are tough and intelligent - have fun.  But don't step on her or I will throttle you.  Do not hurt Emily either or I will be forced to do the same - I respect her and her daugher.  Can I help giving a damn?

Anyway...  Have fun you!  Go with it and get involved.  Treat her nice, because I am done.  It takes time getting over a "crutch" you built, but I figured it out - you should be different.  Bless you all.  This is part of my freedom and part of what makes me the great guy I am and will become.

Beautiful, thank you for making me great and also for hurting me as deeply as you did - you did a great thing.  Goodbye.  I choose to be FREE and you are the bottom of the totem pole on that, but thanks for giving me the courage.  You said, "go ahead and just do it", and they were the greatest words you ever gave me.  I wish you could only know how much those words made me who I am destined to be, and how much they changed my life.  Goddess bless you - you have no clue.

I have so much potential, and you saw it - I just needed to hear it and maybe FACE it.  You aren't evil, you are merely a decent woman "trying" - Goddess bless you from now on.

In the Name of Freya,


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Friday November 28. 1975 - A Primer

November 28, 1975

If you were born on Friday November 28, 1975 as someone very near and dear and extremely close to myself is, then I thought you might be interested in some of the information I acquired doing a little research on this magnificent date of birth. After all, if there is anything to all the hocus pocus of like-being-like, then individuals born on this day must share quite a few similarities on many different levels, right? Individuals born on November 28th are a club of their own, but if you were born on Friday November 28, 1975, then you are part of a very select group of individuals.

What does this have to do with this blog, you ask? Well, I guess it is an entertaining post revolving around the idea of “knowing yourself” in relation to the magic of the universe, which ultimately has a lot to do with personal freedom and happiness.

First and foremost, you were likely conceived (unless born prematurely or extremely late) sometime within the one month time frame of February 7, 1975 and March 7, 1975 with the latter date, give or take a week, being the most probable date of conception. If such lucky individuals were conceived on March 7, 1975, it means not only that they were conceived on the 66th day of the year, but they were also born on the 66th day of Autumn of that year (the Equinox was on September 23). Isn't that cool?

Such individuals were born on the 332nd day of the year, with 33 days remaining in the year 1975 – there's a lot of double digits involved in the birth of individuals born on November 28, 1975, specifically 11, 33, and 66. Alas, even 1975 when added equals 22 in numerology.

You were born on a Friday, which is sacred to the goddesses Freya and Venus, and the god Freyr (and their equivalent gods and goddesses). It was a Waning Moon (give or take a day or two), and the planetary ruler of your day of birth was Venus – the goddess of Love. Ultimately you were born in a season of waning, during a moon of waning, and on a waning day of the week.

You were likely conceived with the Sun in Pisces. You were also born with the Sun in the constellation of Sagittarius, which makes you what? Awesome! Your modern birthstone is topaz and your ancient mystical birthstone would be pearl. Also, you might have a preference for the color blue, as it is your birth color.

You were born in the Chinese year of the Rabbit or Hare, which if you know anything about totems may say a lot about your personality, and your element, in the Chinese system is wood, with fire being your western elemental ruler.

Your planetary ruler is Jupiter, which is the ruler of the gods. You were also born ten days after a total lunar eclipse which occurred on November 18th!

Nothing particularly amazing happened on your day of birth, that I was able to find, but all the historical information mentioned does indicate that East Timor declared independence from Portugal on your date of birth, if that means anything.

Some notable people born on your exact day of birth in 1975 were: Eka Kurniawan, an Indonesian author, Park Sung-Bae, a Korean football player, Takashi Shimoda, a Japanese football player, Sunny Mabrey, an American actress, Maurissa Tancharoen, an American actress, Anna Crilly, an English actress and comedian, Penelope Corrin, a Canadian actress, Sigurd Wongraven, a Norwegian musician (in the band Satyricon), Muhammed Suiรงmez, a German musician (in the band Necrophagist), and Jenny Klinge, a Norwegian politician. In fact, looking at history it appears that one born on this day may very well be talented at sports, acting, and politics to one degree or another. Other interesting people born on this date (but not the same year) include the Byzantine Emperor Manuel I of Komnenos, the king of Spain Alfonso XII, John Bunyon, William Blake, Friedrich Engels, Jon Stewart, and Anna Nichole Smith.

In the United States, the top songs were “Fly Robin, Fly” by Silver Convention and “That's the Way (I like It)” by KC and the Sunshine Band. The top movies were “One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest” and “Dog Day Afternoon”.

In any event, there you have it – some information for those born on November 28, 1975! BTW, if you happen to have been born on this exact date please drop me a line and say "hi!", and by all means, let's experiment and see if there is anything to be said for astrological dates and times and personalities!



Fire and Water (a poem)

The Fire that Burns the Water
by Alraune

They always said we were never meant to be,
that your floods would wash all over me.
They said you would wash all I care for away,
that all I ever loved could no longer stay.

They knew of what they spoke,
but far they were from the essence of your yoke.
They had some idea of what they said,
but they had never been inside your head.

You drowned me, yes you did!
You took all of me away and made it hid.
You hurt me bad, girl.
You destroyed my being.
You devastated everything.

But I set fire to your watery waste.
I boiled you to flames in all haste.
I evaporated you from my being.
In my soul you are no longer seen.

My flames burned you away,
you are vapor and that is where you will stay.
Your waters are powerless against my flame,
you are gone, your vapor is all that can remain.

I am a fire with which you cannot compete,
I am the lightning which flows down,
from places even you cannot creep.
I am the fire of being..yeah, I am everything!

Yeah, I am everything!
I set fire to your watery waste.
I'll burn forever.
Feel me, but never taste.

I set fire to your watery ways,
Even the oceans cannot stay.
I consume you with all my being,
Only hope can be seen.

Yes, only hope can be seen!

Like a flash of ligthning,
I scorch across the sky.
I set fire to the rain!
Watch it burn and die.

POOF! You are gone.
You and I are gone!

Some fires can never be quenched...

So mote it be!